2:54--I'm Out Of Here

I actually have a few minutes
with nothing but this dashboard
and a hot cup of cinnamon tea in front of me.

Where to begin?
No where and everywhere, I suppose.

I'd simply leave early (it's 2:28
and I've vowed to stay until 5pm like a working
stiff this quarter) if I had anything
other to listen to than _The Cat Who
Went Bananas_. My partner thought I might like it.
Yeah.

Well, secretly, I guess, I kindof do. I don't listen
or read sentimental nonsense very often--
except I'm also reading some new ghost book
I picked up at the B&N a couple weeks ago . . .

Goes well with all the WS material and racial theroies
I'm dealing with this quarter. I'm trying to figure
out how to incorporate _Crash_ into my class . . .
it will be done.

I hate burning my tongue.

If I had twin boys who were about to turn seven,
I'd rent the local skating rink
and invite every single soul we knew--
every child in both classes, every friend, all family.

But I wouldn't buy gifts (well maybe one).
And I wouldn't skate b/c I like my butt left unharmed.

If I had a thirteen year old daughter,
she'd be finishing 8th grade and scheduling
for High School.
I'd have the speech: You need to focus on building
your "paper image" now for scholarships. I will help
you in every way possible. You must know, we, ehem,
have no money
saved for you. Nada.

Which would be more of a speech than I ever heard.

My writing group sucks.
I hope they never find this.
But we all know it[the suckiness factor].
My sestina was some type of "striking out," I believe--
and it wasn't, er, absorbed well.
One member is an actual poet; another, um, aspiring.
The poet is bored out of her mind
and won't write us back; the aspiring seems a bit self-absorbed.
*I'm so afraid someone will find this!*
*I've almost deleted this section twice!*
Me? I'm the reason it sucks.

Perhaps it will get better, if we all stick to it.

Or not.

Ever feel out of time and space?
Floating?
Did my mother do drugs when I was interuterine?

Speaking of my mother: I only just learned
that she had a red convertable before she met my father.
He took everything away from her.
What would these two people like if they never met?
Both seem to have had incredible potential . . .

Disease is becoming quite the topic. I've had students
write on lots of good topics this quarter.
My WS200 is way over their heads & the work is terrible--
what to do? I'll never be asked to teach at that branch again.

But the plan was to leave academia in the Spring anyway.
Right?

I had so many things to say to you . . .
and they have all just fizzled away . . .