Is Summer Here?

I am getting so much tougher on my grading.
For example, a woman sh*t on a piece of paper
and turned in in for the extra-credit
I had offered her.

I gave it a 65.

Women in my WS200 are getting Cs and Ds.
Unbelievable.
One woman I work with at the Writing Center
agrees that I am handing that class over with ice cream
on the side.

There's nothing more I can do.

I ask for an essay--they give me a single sentence!
Insane.

Half of the class, which is about 6, are close to failing.
My evaluations are going to burn when I read them--

I never thought I would ever EVER think
or utter the following seemingly-self-important--elitist thought:

maybe some people don't belong at the university.

Gasp. I know. Maybe those people just don't belong at certain times
in their lives or for reasons I don't understand . . .

[I mean, I wouldn't belong on a boat at sea; in an IT office;
at a CEO meeting; in a film; or in a surgical unit (as a physician).]

The difference is that the U is a gatekeeper: you can't be X
if you don't do Y.

I've never been in the position where I felt it was time
to rope the door, or redirect to another door--
IT FEELS HORRIBLE.
So we take the disenfranchised, those who's governments
have let them down in oh-so many ways, and say, sure--got a GED?
Well, then, come to college.
Then, lowly English instructors are faced with the dilemma:
"Golly gee, this person doesn't know how to write in complete
sentences, yet, she's done all the work and is sincere (not to
mention her personal narrative was so full of utter anguish)--
do I pass or fail her"?
maybe these people don't give a sh*t about what academics
and scholars are trying to teach or explore . . .
which is ok, but why come?

maybe our society falsely values a university
education to the point where people feel like the only
way to "succeed" is to earn some type of degree
even if they believe the whole process is bologna.
so they half-ass all of their assignments,
but don't tell me.

maybe people are just interested
in the "overage" their student loans provide (2,000+)
a quarter because they've never seen or had access
to those amounts
in single lumps before.

maybe I really am teaching at a MA level and I'm rebelling
against this campus' low expectations
by bashing my head on a brick wall.

maybe my teaching just sucks, everyone hates the class,
and students merely hope to survive with minimal attendance.

maybe WS200 is last on the priority list for real women
in their 30s who have real jobs, real families,
and "real" Math 101 classes.

maybe, probably no of my concerns will matter 10, 20, 50 years
from now. or even tomorrow.
then again, i could help someone get through school
and break the cycle of poverty for generations to come.

back to my original idea: if people do the work, no failing.
Cs.
I need to accustom myself to the idea that A students
probably go onto Yale or something; Bs and Cs are acceptable.

So, why am I wigging out that only 2 women are getting As
(ie. doing the work) in my WS200????

Ack--I need to find some reading on this!