Not Even Light or Low-cal

Why am I covering everything in ranch dressing?

I dipped a grilled cheese sandwhich in the stuff. Crispy food
simply taste better with ranch . . . even grapes.

[No, not preggers, either. Hey, _Juno_ sucked--well, disappointed. Jason Bateman was so creepy his performance haunts--the only good aspect of the film.]

Is my body just that serious about keeping those extra two pounds?? Or--what mineral is Kraft ranch dressing providing that my body lacks all of the sudden? Perhaps--Kraft has started using opium as a suppliment?

Time to get out my old chemistry set.