Painful Insecurities--where might I be without them?

Look what I wrote on March 21st, 2005:

Why do I not keep open dialogue?
Because I am in hiding. Duh.
The more I speak to my superiors, the more risk
I take in being "discovered."
Which is why this college teaching stint is at an end.
Yes, at an end.
For real this time.
Like Jerry S., I know when to exit.
I must exit while there is still some hope of a nod at a reference,
a bridge from which to cross over to my next career.
Three to four years in one spot is tops for me.
It has been three.

I then proceed to outline my escape from this U.

Seriously.
Has my whole life spun in circles?