Just Not in the Zone

Yesterday, and I believe this may be important to blog,
even if I feel decidedly reluctant,
a friendly acquaintance popped into my office.
I was a bit distracted, grading a few papers before class.

We hadn't really seen eachother in months
(conflicting schedules, it happens here),
but we kept in touch through email.

You see, for the past 18 mos. we have occasionally confided in eachother.
We each drew half a fish in the sand,
so to speak,
and recognized eachother as coming from similiar religious backgrounds,
struggling with the same religion v. academia hoopla---

As I've already stated, she popped into my office sat in a chair opposite me and slapped down some serious gossip. Unable to make a clear transition
into which role I was meant to play for this person--
"F*ck." I breathed.

Red light. There are people you can say F*ck to, and others you cannot.
It seemed to me that her head caught for a sec in mild surprise,
cocked to the side. She went on.
Next thing I know, she says,
"yadda yadda, well [a little indignation], I really don't know how spiritual you are, but I feel . . ."
and trailed off. She acted as if she suddenly didn't know how far to trust me in matters of spirituality b/c I had said the "F-word."
"Led? Led to move on?" I suggested.
"Yeah!" and the conversation resumed.

Admittedly, I was pricked by this.
In so many complicated ways that I am exhausted
at the mere thought of sorting it all out.