My Head is Going to Explode

I wish.
Oh how I desperately wish.

I went to "orientation" today--
and legally, that's probably all I can say.

I had to sign what seemed like 40 papers
stating I would not divulge any company information
[salary info seemed to be a top priority;
have I given you my theories on that?].
I signed the papers, but vowed to myself
that events including me
where mine to blog or do whatever I please with.


When I filled out the W2 info, I was uneasy:
"I thought I was a contract employee?"

Filling out the paper work at this point in life
is such a breeze. Especially, if you aren't out to please.

I left several spaces blank even (ie. salary info & contact/references)--
which was particularly liberating.

BUT the bottom line:
I was hired as a lackey.
A part-time, on-call job coach for $9 an hour.

When I received Monday's assignment,
it looked like this:

1] Drive 40 minutes north from where you live
TRANSPORT MRDD female to job site 40 minutes south from you.

2] Coach her from 9:00am until you pick up Scitzo/Bi-polar male
from job site 35 minutes east from you.

3] Then go back to the first site and transport her home.

4] Round trip: 7:30am-5:30pm. 10 hour shifts this week.


HOLD THE PHONE.

I have a job/career.
I was simply offering to stand in a pinch for my partner @ 4 hour blocks.
"TRANSPORT"? WTF? I have had absolutely no training
and couldn't even really pass the test on HIPAA/ePHI--
not alone deal with a scitzo/bi-polar male,
who normally has a care giver, alone
in the car with me.

I dread talking to these people--what a mess!
I collaspe under any pressure--I feel the need to accomodate
so my partner doesn't look like an ass!

O why O why can't a big rock just fall on me??