But I'd have Popcorn and Snowcaps

if i had kids--true billy jane goats--
it might go like this:


Partner: Wanna see Iron Man?
Me: Nah.
Partner: You know, I might take the boys.

Now, let's just pretend I had, say, twins even.

Me: The boys? What's that rated?
Partner: Well. . .
Me: PG-13, right?
Partner: For comic violence-
Me: "Comic" violence? WTH? You know when our daughter was 12, turning 13 in a month, you wouldn't let her go to the flicks with her friends--oh yeah, I remember. Now? Now you let the boys play Call of Duty 4 and Halo! Next it's Iron Man? Who am I married to? Do you know I teach WS? What a crock of double-standards.

(I wonder if some double-standards are more about birth order?)

Partner: Then who's going to go with me?
Me: Hello? Our 15-year-old daughter?
Partner (sheepishly): Oh. Yeah.

But, you know, I wouldn't really get the one-up in this battle if we had kids. No, knowing my luck the evening would end with me taking the nine-year-old boys to see Nim's Island, with all of us bored out of our skulls.