checking in

SO--
Did I tell you that I'm a co-director
for a summer writing institute
at the main campus this summer?

well, i'm shadowing and will become so in July.
that's what I've been doing for the last two Sats
out of three. . .

big news: i helped a woman from nepal get into grad school!
i'm so happy for her--she's so engaged, thoughtful, charismatic, smart
yadda yadda
and she was thrilled (she had tried last year and didn't make it)
i feel so very glad
like i did something right

meanwhile, the writing center still goes.
no one at the main campus can figure out why i don't give it up . . .
but it's mine. i want to see it excel.
and i love my tutors. i want to take care of them.
people don't repect the regionals like they should--
actually, some of the disrepect is self-loathing. . .
aiya

and i'm being lasoed into the phd program--
folks are looking for ways to waive my foreign lang rec . . .
it's great to be so wanted,
but MAN, i don't wanna!

i'm like a big fat baby! kicking its limbs and wailing--

so, this fall, i may not teach.
and if i do, maybe only one class.
can you imagine??
good thing too--I'm BURNT, FRIED. Done.

but being with folks in rhet comp
is energizing-- i want to start the phd program in a smallish
way--a fraction of me buzzes

but can you imagine if i had children?
what would it be like to devote myself
to some academic endeavor day in and day out,
missing on story time (really this is a priority i wouldn't actually miss), plays, soccer practice,
dentist appointments, cookies, school pancake day, etc?

year after year?

then end up like Beatty--retired and alone. No one
knowing who he is?

but.

i can't have fun (anymore) anyway, so why not work all the time?
are soccer practices all they're cracked up to be?
what if it's clod, boring, and your kid doesn't get to play.
what if a-holes ruin the game?

my partner and i haven't even made it for a month.
for the first time in 12 years, he's stopped kissing me every day.
(and you think not blogging is bad)
naturally, we feel all distant and crabby toward each other--

by the way, he's back in school full time too--
starting about 5 weeks ago--if that helps to make sense of it all.

see why i don't blog??
gripe gripe gripe

i get a vaction in june. to the beach for 6 days.
maybe i can reprogram

oh--and thanks for the cool e-card!!
SWEET
hope you enjoyed your trip

the summer institute will have a blog on this server!!
should i hook you up to it?
or will it give me away??