I Can't Go On and On

here's the jist:

guy in a pink work shirt
talking loudly
late at night
a small grocery

says, "it's these darn women--no offense to you (pretty lady)"
smiles
reeks

something clicks
"you know what? [loudly--i'm not afraid to make a scene] that IS offensive--"

"i'm sorry maam (even spell that word?)--I am truly sorry."

snicker snicker with the young boy behind the counter
reeks some more

"you know what else is offensive? [there's a line growing behind me] drinking and driving. yeah that's offensive."

blanches. suddenly sober. "i couldn't agree with you more. that's why i've got a friend out there ready to drive me home."

"good. we don't want any smashed up babies on the road tonight."

more talk. i am shaking.
the clerk is wry, looking down to the left.

a big biker-looking guy is by the exit.
the drunk fellow strolls over and talks to the biker-guy.

i am alone.

my hands shake as i write out the check.
i have to leave.
i place my keys between my fingers. but i feel weak in the limbs.

i hear, "alright, alright. i thought i knew you from school or something."

he is parked 4 cars down from me. waiting at the end of his busted-ass vehicle.
i get in. lock all doors. memorize his #. am still shaking.

call cops.
think i may have saved someone's life tonight.
the guy was wasted.
"just wanted to have some fun. got kids of my own. don't want to hurt anyone."

he was alone. waiting for me to drive off.
weighing his odds.
but life is so much more complicated.

he wasn't a jerk--really. he was being "friendly" to everyone he knew.
i may have cost him his job tonight.
he might really have kids of his own.
and their dad's in jail.
or wrapped around a tree.

it's been 2 hours.
i can't stop shaking.