There Ought to be a Law

The barren hills
are crawling with orange ant-like
army men with high power riffles

way too close to the road.

On my commute today,
I hunkered down in my seat
waiting for the stray bullet
to pierce the door, the hood, the windshield
of my car
and end my miserable little life
in one red splat.

Ok, I'm not too miserable today really.
I found a sale on nutcrackers,
a chef, a soccer player, a fisherman, and a king,
to give to this little six-year-old boy I know--
who, of all things, wants a collection of nutcrackers
for Christmas this year.
Who is this kid's parents?

It's 69 degrees; tomorrow is set for 45.
I'd take off this sweater
if I hadn't gained that 4lbs
eating cookies and cakes all last quarter.
Ooops.