The Conversation to My Mind

Freud: You know, I think men are afraid of women.

Irigrary: Oh yeah? Why so, pray tell?

Freud: When a little boy first learns that girls,
particularly his mother, do not have a penis, I think
the little boy assumes that his father has castrated them.

Irigrary: Really [bored] . . . you arrogant, pompus twit?

Freud: Oh yes, oh yes. You see, the little boy seeks
to replace
his father some day, but his father still
holds all the power and has access to the mother . . .

Squirrleymojo: Ah ha! So when the little boy
first learns about the cycle of blood,
well, then that explains it all: A GAPING WOUND.

Scary sh*t for a little boy, don't you think?

Irigrary: You know, I read this much much differently.
We, we are an ocularcentric culture, no?

Squirrleymojo: A who?

Irigrary: An ocularcentric culture that focuses on
what can be seen--our sciences--our value systems--
all on the *presense.* When Freud farted out his theory,
he placed a traditional emphasis on the penis
as what can be seen to indicate power between the different
sexes. You see? The only difference in Freud's mind
is the penis; therefore it must be all powerful--

Squirrleymojo: So a woman needs a penis to, erm, well,
"fill" her *nothingness,* her, forgive me, "hole"?

Irigrary: Precisely! Now we are onto something dear girl!
Only, lets take a moment and theorize outside the penis,
if you will . . . what if, and lets take a huge leap here,
what if instead of "nothing," a woman had two?

Squirrleymojo: Two?!?

Irigrary: Yes. Yes, two lips that constantly caress
eachother and satisfy the woman without a man--he then
becomes an interruptor--a violent intrusion
into woman's own autoeroticism.

Freud: That's absurd you fiendish nitwit! I've listened
to you two chatter like monkies--

Darwin: Told you so--

Freud: Long enough! Now listen here, it's like my PAPpa
use to tell me--If it bleeds for three days and
ain't dead yit, must be evil!