I Need Staples, Staple Man

I just did a very berry mean thing:
I IM'd my partner that "THEY TOOK THE BID!!!!!!!!!!"

No worries, I couldn't carry the meaniness for long.
He wrote: "NO!"

I answered: "Nope." The End.

Actually, we still haven't heard back,
they have until 5pm, but I suspect they will not
even grace us with a reply . . .

I hate to burn the house down, but if I can't have it . . .

Meanwhile, I needed sex so badly this morning,
but I couldn't move (half asleep); all I could do
was moan a bit. No sex. My partner thought I was groaning
b/c I was sore. WTF?
I'm reading Bromberg's _The Body Project_ before I go
to bed at night; the sexual revolution part is quite titillating.
[Hahaha--academic joke, but seriously]

I HAVE A NEW COFFEE POT!
$15 Sunbeam--and it works marvelously.

If I had kids,
they'd hate me by now--all the summer work
(both chores and academic exercises)
I'd have them do. It'd have to be a family collaboration--
living together day after day . . . after day.
But, ultimately, they would have to OBEY ME.
I'd walk around the house, bark orders, and shout: OBEY ME!
when they whined . . .

Did you know that Mercer Mayer wrote other books
besides the Little Critter Series???

My next calling! Children's literature! Yes!
I already have a story from HS
that I wrote, illustrated, and read to kids.
Something about a parrot in a tree
who had scales.
He was so sad he couldn't fly with the others,
until he fell out of the tree and into the pond . . .
then, he discovered that he had a special talent--swimming.

I don't know how he got in the tree.

No, you cannot have what I'm having. Perscription only.