No, I wouldn't want to take this quiz either . . .

I don't believe any college English class
should be subjected to this,
but I was thrown in w/o a paddle
and the 20-year-old Marine said
"doggy like this--it's required on this campus."


Skill Unit #1: Recognizing and Capitalizing Nouns
[10pts] Underline all nouns you find in the following paragraph; correct any capitalizing.

like the game itself, a baseball is composed of many layers. one of the delicious joys of childhood is to take apart a baseball and examine the wonders within. you begin by removing the red cotton thread and peeling off the leather cover [ . . . ] Beneath the cover is a thin layer of cotton string followed by several hundred yards of woolen yarn, which make up the bulk of the ball. slice the rubber and you’ll find the ball’s heart–a cork core. The cork is from portugal, the rubber from southeast asia, the covers are american, and the balls are assembled in costa rica. [–Dan Gutman, The Way Baseball Works (excerpt from Hacker 30)]

Skill Unit #2: Plural and Possessive Forms of Nouns
[5pts.] Identify and use each of the following words in a sentence of your choice.

girl’s
bosses’
women
watch’s
it’s

Skill Unit #3: Reviewing Verbs
[4pts.] Divide these sentences to show the complete subject and complete predicate. Then, underline the simple subject and predicate.

A refrigerated case of mouth-watering cheeses is opposite the produce section.

Many Americans, tired of the struggle in Vietnam, began to sympathize with antiwar protestors. [Hacker 108]

[8pts.] Fill in the chart with at least 2 examples/forms from each helping verb group.
“Be” Group “Have” Group “Do” Group Other
Ex. 1
Ex. 2

[10pts.] Identify and mark the action verbs (AV), along with their helping verbs (HV), and linking verbs (LV) in the following paragraph:

One evening when I was wading in the shallows of the lake to pass a rocky outcrop, I suddenly stopped dead as I saw the sinuous black body of a snake in the water. It was all of six feet long, and from the slight hood and dark stripes at the back of the neck I knew it to be a Storm’s water cobra [ . . . ]. [–Jane Goodall, In the Shadow of Man (excerpt from Hacker 27)]

[2pts.] Rewrite the sentence, “A refrigerated case of mouth-watering cheeses is opposite the produce section,” using an action verb.


Skill Unit #4: Using Verb Tenses Correctly
[14pts.] Rewrite each sentence for tense.

He skips across the lane.
Past:
Future:
I am risking too much.
Past:
Future:
The company wants to buy an office.
Present Perfect:
Past Perfect:
Future Perfect:


[20pts.] Write a 10 sentence paragraph in which you give the details of a childhood memory; for example, what did you want to be when you grew up and why? Pay particular attention to the verb tense you use for each sentence. Underline and label each tense.
[5pts.] In a separate paragraph answer: Did you notice any complications when writing your paragraph? Why or why not?

Skill Unit 5: Progressive Forms & Irregular Verbs
[10pts] Complete the chart:

Present Past Past Participle Present Participle
1. walk
2. lived lived
3. seem
4. catch
5. get
6. bite
7. do
8. drink
9. set
10. write

[2pts] Explain the difference between:
“Lie” and Lay”

“Sit” and “Set”

[10pts] Using the information you have learned through Units 1-5, correct the following paragraph:

Scientists sort electric fishes into three category. The first comprises the strongly electric species like the marine electric rays or the freshwater african electric catfish and the south american electric eel. known since the dawn of history, this deliver a punch strong enough to stun a human. In recent years, [many] biologist have focused on a second category: weakly electric fish in the south American and African rivers that use tiny voltages for communication and navigation. The third group contains sharks, nonelectric rays, and catfish, which do not emit a field but possesses sensors that enable them to detect the minute amounts of electricity that leak out of other organism. [–Anne and Jack Rudloe, Eletric Warfare: The Fish That Kill with Thunderbolts (excerpt from Hacker 30)]

The End

Meanwhile, on main campus, my close friend,
who is also Director of Composition for all 6 campuses,
said, "They're teaching what?!?!"
And I may have someone's grandson in my class---Aiya.
How do I get in the midst of such political battles?

Oh, and I stopped in to see J
who made me dizzy from who's going where,
to what country, Germany, Australia, etc.
to deliver keynote speeches and watch the World Cup.
And simply being in that atmosphere
makes me feel so isolated [did you read the CNN News story on this]
and diminuative [valueless on bad days].

But this was an ok day--we put our itsy dinky bid
on the house we can't possibly afford
and feel optimistic that it will go through--ha!
My realtor (who is a former student)
seems depressed--I think she thought I was
a real professor making real money &
that she might get a bigger hunk.
But she's nice--I so want to be her bestest best friend.
If the deal goes through,
maybe we could take her and her family out to Bob Evans
or Wendy's . . . ?

I'm just filled with love for you all tonight--
your comments make me laugh unexpectedly and it's
a privilege to warrant your wit and creativity.
Humph, I have hope for tomorrow.