Punching In

Not that I'm watching the clock
or anything, but it is precisely
3:02

and I'm tired of "pretending" to be engaged
with my work!
I am entitled to go home at 3:00
and it takes a concentration of will power
not to fly out the door at 2:56 . . .

So, I type to you
in hopes that I look busy,
when in reality--
I'm already gone.

Why oh Why

Ok, so I didn't know that
Harriet Beecher Stowe,
the author of Uncle Tom's Cabin,
was white.


Must that ruin my entire credibility?

(Even though I do understand the implications
of such a grave error . . .)

Yesterday was Earth Day.
I went to a zoo with a friend.
We did not celebrate.

Don't Bother

Writing doesn't seem to be helping
me control or articulate my emotions
anymore.

In fact, writing this blog is just another hassle.

I've never been so lazy in my life.
And so utterly angry.
About everything.

Every word that comes forth
feels like it has been said a million times.

Let the People Speak

I just sent this to CNN:

Uh--yeah I'm worried [responding to gas prices]. I commute to teach at a University about 104 miles a day, roundtrip, as an adjunct (hello, I don't make much). At $2.99 a gallon, even in my wee-bitty Neon, that's about $75 bucks a week, $300.oo dollars a month, at least $2,700.oo a year--close to 10% of my total earnings!

This is 3x what I paid just 3 years ago.

Misc. Updates

My partner and I
have been having secret rendevous
on Fridays.

Well, one before Good Friday
and one planned for today.

We made it on a huge cushion
in the middle of the living room floor.

Yep, we are at the stage where we schedule sex.
I'm that tired.



My students this quarter are a hoot.
Even if I don't know their names.
I feel badly, but it's exhausting
learning 120 new names every 10 weeks.

This one guy in my WS100 is so darn enthusiastic
that I think he must be a male cheerleader.
Yesterday, on my way to lunch,
I saw him as a tour guide for the university.
Perfect.

I have another student at the branch,
a 42 year-old gentleman,
who has been deeply engaged in our political
discussions on race.
However, I can't get him to turn in his work.
I don't want to fail him; I believe
he is highly intellectual, but just has never
been given a chance.

He missed one week of class
because, quote: "I was 'detained.'"
I suspect he is from a local halfway house.
His picture made front page news in our local paper;
caption, "Forty-two year old MX utilizes new
technology at University Branch to complete his paper
assignment for his English composition class"

I never received that paper.



Did I mention I will be teaching this summer?
First session: Feminist Theory 350.
Second Session: Capstone 480.

Wow.

I had dinner last night with our support person
and she mentioned that the branches are looking to hire
a full time WS instructor and that they are willing to
accept MAs.
No one has mentioned this to me directly.
Wonder why not?
Of course, it would be cheaper to use me as an adjunct . . .



My third book is almost finished
and should hit Amazon next fall, not 2006
but 2007. Have you figured out who I am yet?
Ha.
What a joke.
But, my colleagues continue to publish.
Groan. [Gurgle Gurgle] I feel like such a looser.

G, a charming woman with whom I had lunch with
all last quarter, has an entire window display
at a book store on campus and it's lovely.
Just lovely!
The book's cover, her poetry, and the black & white still
of her in the garden (taken by her husband
who is also a published author & a fantastic guy).
She has a signing next week.
[Gurgle Gurgle]

It's not like I have 3 kids and I'm jerking myself
out of utter poverty or anything . . .

I Have Finished My Banana

The personal narratives from
the branch were quite interesting
and especially moving.

So nice not to read
about getting drunk and smoking pot in the dorms.

The Drama of Easter has Now Passed

Ahhhh. No email.
Love it.

One of my student's
from last quarter,
and I think I know who,
wrote on my evaluation
that she thought I was mildly dyslexic.

After my last post,
I'm rather inclined to take her quite seriuosly.

Circular

It's be nice to think progressively.

Compromises

My writing group fell apart yesterday.
I must admit that I am so relieved--
even if my feelings were hurt a bit.

I'm so tired of having my credibility questioned
simply because I am not a total prick.
Example:

Yesterday a student approached me
with a question about his quiz.
He had written: "blah blah and that's what
helped make America the utopia it is."

I circled the word "utopia" and wrote "?!"
ie. WTF?

He just wanted to make sure I knew what the
word "utopia" meant.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I leaned way back in my chair,
stared him straight in the face
and slowly said:

"You did NOT just ask me if I knew
what utopia meant."

The LINE at Privilege University USA
has just been crossed.
Place your seats in the up right position.
That kid just failed this course.

I have a student
blogging on this server
while in London studing--

if I link her here,
will she be able to trace me you think?

28 Days Isn't Enough

So soon?

I'm Bound.

House Haunting Isn't Exactly What We're Looking For

we are never never never
going to find a house!

there is always something wrong!
desperately wrong.

seriously, what does this say about me?

At 33

I do dearly love Easter.
A reflective time.

Can you imagine bringing peace and love
to the earth,
all of the earth,
only to be crucified?

Arms wide open.

Knowing what I know
of people, torture, extortion, and war,
I cannot, could never
hold my arms wide open to all of this pain . . .

At 33

I do dearly love Easter.
A reflective time.

Can you imagine bringing peace and love
to the earth,
all of the earth,
only to be crucified?

Arms wide open.

Knowing what I know
of people, torture, extortion, and war,
I cannot, could never
hold my arms wide open to all of this pain . . .

The Nieghborhood

Yellow plastic caught
in the pricks
of uppermost branches,
a neighbor’s tree,
a walmart bag wretches free
and tumbles across a neighbor’s yard.

No need to spit;
the small sagging cottages
and cracked sidewalks
bear no real harm.
Coffee stains the hairs above
his upper lip. For years.
He’s fixing a door lock.
Jiggles the handle.
Owns most of these squares.

It’s the frame, the frame,
that’s broke. Nickel
plywood splintered and scratched.
A foot
can put the end to that.
Move off with a television,
stereo, cheap perfume.

His mouth moves
and words come out, yet
she finds the hum below the pane
far too distracting–
machinery. On the street.
Telling.

The door closes, locks latch;
she hears he owns a kennel too.

It's Time

I read through a window
about an ant
swallowed by a single drop of dew
then the light.

On my hamster wheel,
placed by our picture window,
I watched a shadow.

The sun sat
and I could see the branch sway.
The shadow dance on a neighbor's wall.
For me.

A yellow plastic bag caught in tree tips
several blocks down
wretched free.

There Goes My Breakfast

Yes.
It is way too soon to have a 9/11 movie.
WTF?


_United 93_ is even being pitched as a "thiller."
A thiller? _Entertainment_?
Universal Studios tried to cover their asses
by donating 10% of the first 3 days' gross--
big whoop.

I can't even begin to understand our culture.

Pricks

I started to get worked up
about a student today,
but then I had a thought:

Eh. You're a dime-a-dozen asshole.


Ok ok, then I felt bad and guilty
that I didn't have more patience--yadda yadda.

But Spring Quarter is so difficult;
just when I finally have students
(whom I have been working with for 10 weeks)
that I can have a really good conversation with--
BAM--
I have to start all over with those
who don't have a clue and may not care.

Sometimes, it's exciting.
Other times? It's exhausting.

Your Assignment

ENG 151–Spring 2006
First Formal Paper
Due: 10 April 2006

I/C Pre-writing
Make a short list of detailed moments in your life that stand out as conceptual turning points, moments when you remember having some kind of significant insight into an idea or belief you had held for a long time. Do you see any patterns? If you are stumped, you may want to think in terms of identity (such as race/class/gender etc.).
Write about one of these moments using as much detail as you can muster, detailing about where you were, what you were doing, what your thoughts were, and what provoked the insight. “I remember . . .”

Formal Prompt
Write a 4-6 page personal narrative in which you express or reflect upon a “public topic” using personal stories of your own. This will be a stronger essay if you work with the free writing from class that asks you to explore points of significant realization and/or change in your life. If the free writing was not particularly fruitful for you, you may choose to further develop the work you have already done on the influence of “reading” in your life. If you are a risk taker, you can even develop another topic or explore experiences of your life you, yourself, may not yet fully understand. Specific format for this paper will be discussed in class. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask.
Adapted from WRA, pages 19 and 146.

Personal Narrative Rubric
Grading Scale: 92-100pts. A
80-91pts. B
70-79pts. C
62-69pts. D

60% Content (What you are writing):
Do you follow the conventions of a personal narrative?
= Well focused
= Includes a personal story
= Developed with strong details
= Can the reader surmise your larger, “public” topic?
= Are there moments of reflective thinking?
= Does your tone imply that you are interested in your own subject matter?

30% Organization (How you are writing):
= Are your thoughts conveyed clearly?
= Are ideas well connected and developed into meaningful paragraphs?
= Does the paper, as a whole, follow a logical order?

10% Conventions (MLA Standards):
= Punctuation & Mechanics

Each area will be rated: 10pts All Criteria Met
8-9pts Most Criteria Met
7pts Some Criteria Met
5-6pts Few Met
4-0 Little/none Met

A Note

Hi R,
I'm afraid I won't be in town on the 7th--what a disappointment! But if K should bring any materials in, could someone please please put them in my box?
My "angle" on the History of Feminism is to emphasize the parallel the first two (even this third!) Waves have had with social unrest--namely, Abolishment & Civil Rights--and go from there with a few key names and dates . . . by the time we get to "Global Issues" and the question of feminism being a form of "Westernization," I then try to emphasize that "feminism" (by all sorts of names & namelessness even) has its roots anywhere women seek to heal the inequalites and injustices of their lives (Uma Narayan).
Does that make sense? For what it's worth!
Give My Best,
SQ

What Does that make Me?

I am at my wit's end
with this local chapter of Habitat!

I stayed up until 1:00am
working on this crappy Newsletter
(with clauses such as "for whom the bells
of freedom have never rung")--
and this morning?
She calls and tells me not to bother coming in!

We are reporting on happenings from _December_!
This was suppose to be out in _February_!

I simply can't handle this--
changing all the tense throughout the 9 pages . . .

and it's so crappy.
At least my name isn't on it.
Bet she tells eveyone that I'm
the person putting it off . . .

and I hate talking badly about her!
She runs the entire affiliate and only
gets paid for 20 hours a week!
She's really a Saint.

Have you ever wanted to dance
in flowing skirts
amid a field of wild flowers
while string intruments
played in the distant background
and know that you were loved?

This plum's too firm,
too tart.

Quit Biting Industry

Seriously. What if I died
in that bath tub
when I laid my body
fully clothed
into the warm water
sloshing over the rim?

What if I dreamed the last
eleven or so years?

You know, I could be a vegtable
right now
or in vanilla ice with tom cruise . . .

ok, that had to make you laugh(cringe).
it's a bit like that--
just a little sum something
to snap me out of a mood
and make me giggle like a child.

on the inside.

on the outside? I don't like sex anymore
and that bothers me.

i've sortof out grown my world,
but am afraid to admit it--just don't want to
hurt anyone. i know that sounds horrible--
if not teenangst--but it may be true.

if i had a 13-year-old daughter
she would leave her notebook out one too many
nights and i'd have to peak.
i'd see a couple sentences that would make my head spin
and make me question too much
too fast.

can an identity crisis last
one's entire life? how wretched
if that were so.

I have 5 bucks left on iTunes
and no where to go.
I keep waiting for something dramatic to happen.