Quick Update

Still bargaining for the home
and it's nerve-wracking!

Should know something soon . . . (?)

Would write more, but I'm watching _The Karate Kid_.
I still have sweats like that . . .

I Hate Shopping--It's Such a Chore

Now I need sweetner for my coffee--
will it never end??!?

(Confectioner's suger doesn't work--yuk)

I up'd my bid by 11 grand
Of course, we haven't heard anything--
and won't until tomorrow, no doubt.
How badly do I want this house?

I just want to be able to entertain, you know?
Be able to say, "Hey, stop by after work."
Be able to offer people a cup of tea w/o cringing.

Be able to go out to my car in the morning
and find it intact (even a huge man-smudge palm print
on the back-passenger window wouldn't
convince our police department to fingerprint;
the theif, who has robbed us 5x, probably
is a career con living down the street . . .).

Be able to get to my laundry
w/o wading through an inch of black water sludge
(you don't want to know that story).

Sigh. It's not like the West side of Chicago,
or anything, but I want out.

Will I be able to make it out? Stay tuned.

You HAD 12 Hours to Reply . . .

Shitty Blogger!
Last night's post didn't post:

At 4:10 the seller's realtor called
my realtor (my new best friend):
"They're not in town, I guess;
I can't get in touch with them.
Can you extend the time?"

My realtor: "I don't know. I'll have to call them (us)."

Nine minutes later.

Seller's realtor:
"They just called! I'll fax the bid."

Price?
Lowered by $4,900.oo.
We had asked for $37,000.oo lower.

I think I know what I'm going to do next
(as opposed to what "we," both my partner and I,
will do next--which is at the very nexis of our problems--
why must everything have so many layers??);

what would you do next? how long would you wait to make a move
and why?


And now, I'm left with this decision all alone!
Literally. My partner left for a convention this weekend
and won't be back until Sunday.

I feel as if he has shrugged his shoulders
and said, "Whatever you think's best."
Which, um, actually, he did say. W/o the shrug.

So people, any thoughts out there
while I take a shower?

I Need Staples, Staple Man

I just did a very berry mean thing:
I IM'd my partner that "THEY TOOK THE BID!!!!!!!!!!"

No worries, I couldn't carry the meaniness for long.
He wrote: "NO!"

I answered: "Nope." The End.

Actually, we still haven't heard back,
they have until 5pm, but I suspect they will not
even grace us with a reply . . .

I hate to burn the house down, but if I can't have it . . .

Meanwhile, I needed sex so badly this morning,
but I couldn't move (half asleep); all I could do
was moan a bit. No sex. My partner thought I was groaning
b/c I was sore. WTF?
I'm reading Bromberg's _The Body Project_ before I go
to bed at night; the sexual revolution part is quite titillating.
[Hahaha--academic joke, but seriously]

I HAVE A NEW COFFEE POT!
$15 Sunbeam--and it works marvelously.

If I had kids,
they'd hate me by now--all the summer work
(both chores and academic exercises)
I'd have them do. It'd have to be a family collaboration--
living together day after day . . . after day.
But, ultimately, they would have to OBEY ME.
I'd walk around the house, bark orders, and shout: OBEY ME!
when they whined . . .

Did you know that Mercer Mayer wrote other books
besides the Little Critter Series???

My next calling! Children's literature! Yes!
I already have a story from HS
that I wrote, illustrated, and read to kids.
Something about a parrot in a tree
who had scales.
He was so sad he couldn't fly with the others,
until he fell out of the tree and into the pond . . .
then, he discovered that he had a special talent--swimming.

I don't know how he got in the tree.

No, you cannot have what I'm having. Perscription only.

No, I wouldn't want to take this quiz either . . .

I don't believe any college English class
should be subjected to this,
but I was thrown in w/o a paddle
and the 20-year-old Marine said
"doggy like this--it's required on this campus."


Skill Unit #1: Recognizing and Capitalizing Nouns
[10pts] Underline all nouns you find in the following paragraph; correct any capitalizing.

like the game itself, a baseball is composed of many layers. one of the delicious joys of childhood is to take apart a baseball and examine the wonders within. you begin by removing the red cotton thread and peeling off the leather cover [ . . . ] Beneath the cover is a thin layer of cotton string followed by several hundred yards of woolen yarn, which make up the bulk of the ball. slice the rubber and you’ll find the ball’s heart–a cork core. The cork is from portugal, the rubber from southeast asia, the covers are american, and the balls are assembled in costa rica. [–Dan Gutman, The Way Baseball Works (excerpt from Hacker 30)]

Skill Unit #2: Plural and Possessive Forms of Nouns
[5pts.] Identify and use each of the following words in a sentence of your choice.

girl’s
bosses’
women
watch’s
it’s

Skill Unit #3: Reviewing Verbs
[4pts.] Divide these sentences to show the complete subject and complete predicate. Then, underline the simple subject and predicate.

A refrigerated case of mouth-watering cheeses is opposite the produce section.

Many Americans, tired of the struggle in Vietnam, began to sympathize with antiwar protestors. [Hacker 108]

[8pts.] Fill in the chart with at least 2 examples/forms from each helping verb group.
“Be” Group “Have” Group “Do” Group Other
Ex. 1
Ex. 2

[10pts.] Identify and mark the action verbs (AV), along with their helping verbs (HV), and linking verbs (LV) in the following paragraph:

One evening when I was wading in the shallows of the lake to pass a rocky outcrop, I suddenly stopped dead as I saw the sinuous black body of a snake in the water. It was all of six feet long, and from the slight hood and dark stripes at the back of the neck I knew it to be a Storm’s water cobra [ . . . ]. [–Jane Goodall, In the Shadow of Man (excerpt from Hacker 27)]

[2pts.] Rewrite the sentence, “A refrigerated case of mouth-watering cheeses is opposite the produce section,” using an action verb.


Skill Unit #4: Using Verb Tenses Correctly
[14pts.] Rewrite each sentence for tense.

He skips across the lane.
Past:
Future:
I am risking too much.
Past:
Future:
The company wants to buy an office.
Present Perfect:
Past Perfect:
Future Perfect:


[20pts.] Write a 10 sentence paragraph in which you give the details of a childhood memory; for example, what did you want to be when you grew up and why? Pay particular attention to the verb tense you use for each sentence. Underline and label each tense.
[5pts.] In a separate paragraph answer: Did you notice any complications when writing your paragraph? Why or why not?

Skill Unit 5: Progressive Forms & Irregular Verbs
[10pts] Complete the chart:

Present Past Past Participle Present Participle
1. walk
2. lived lived
3. seem
4. catch
5. get
6. bite
7. do
8. drink
9. set
10. write

[2pts] Explain the difference between:
“Lie” and Lay”

“Sit” and “Set”

[10pts] Using the information you have learned through Units 1-5, correct the following paragraph:

Scientists sort electric fishes into three category. The first comprises the strongly electric species like the marine electric rays or the freshwater african electric catfish and the south american electric eel. known since the dawn of history, this deliver a punch strong enough to stun a human. In recent years, [many] biologist have focused on a second category: weakly electric fish in the south American and African rivers that use tiny voltages for communication and navigation. The third group contains sharks, nonelectric rays, and catfish, which do not emit a field but possesses sensors that enable them to detect the minute amounts of electricity that leak out of other organism. [–Anne and Jack Rudloe, Eletric Warfare: The Fish That Kill with Thunderbolts (excerpt from Hacker 30)]

The End

Meanwhile, on main campus, my close friend,
who is also Director of Composition for all 6 campuses,
said, "They're teaching what?!?!"
And I may have someone's grandson in my class---Aiya.
How do I get in the midst of such political battles?

Oh, and I stopped in to see J
who made me dizzy from who's going where,
to what country, Germany, Australia, etc.
to deliver keynote speeches and watch the World Cup.
And simply being in that atmosphere
makes me feel so isolated [did you read the CNN News story on this]
and diminuative [valueless on bad days].

But this was an ok day--we put our itsy dinky bid
on the house we can't possibly afford
and feel optimistic that it will go through--ha!
My realtor (who is a former student)
seems depressed--I think she thought I was
a real professor making real money &
that she might get a bigger hunk.
But she's nice--I so want to be her bestest best friend.
If the deal goes through,
maybe we could take her and her family out to Bob Evans
or Wendy's . . . ?

I'm just filled with love for you all tonight--
your comments make me laugh unexpectedly and it's
a privilege to warrant your wit and creativity.
Humph, I have hope for tomorrow.

My Coffee Pot Is a Busted POS

Off to the Main Campus today.
Will sit in the same office and speak
to the professor who convinced
me 6 years ago not to drop out of college.

This fall, I'll be teaching a linked course with him.
He's a Classics man. We'll be examining
ancient cultures, HIST 1-something, with my 153.

I'm a bit nervous. This guy is also the chair
of his department and an absolute profectionist . . .
I'm such a small fry, a bit player really.


Meanwhile, we are putting in a bid this afternoon.
And I've got cold feet.
What if we get stuck with this house forever?
Only now, my realtor is a "friend" and I can't
screw her over too . . . she's been so great.

Where I Come From

Where I come from,
a $1400 a month house payment
is outrageous.

That's, like, $16,800 a year--
some young person's yearly salary . . .

But I keep thinking about these two homes
we saw yesterday:

Home Simon Ct: Lovely back yard
with tree-lined property
at the end of a cul de sac.

Shady.

Nice deck for breakfasting in the summer . . .
crab apple tree and others.
Hot tub negotiable. Great place to entertain.
Wood floors (and nasty pink carpet that
would have to go). Fireplace. 3 stories. Spacious.
Bad windows.
On market for over a year--should be bargin worthy.

Home Bunting Ct: A mature willow tree.
Need I say more?
Yet, I will. A gazebo w/hot tub. Included.
Wonderful deck
and stone work. A cherry tree.
$2,ooo less than above.
Workable windows.
Neutral carpeting. No wood floors. :-(
Location--suburbs. Suburbs.
Basement not finished.
Did I mention Gazebo w/hot tub?
Fireplace. Spacious. Much better bathrooms.
Only 10 days on the market; Probably won't bargin.

The first $1400, no problem, but after that?
Over and over again? Year after year? A third of our
net on housing?

Yet, there seems to be no inbetween in this area;
either I live on the East side where my car radio
gets jerked for the 2x (seriously! 2 days ago) and
I can't even have a grill out on the patio,
or I pay out the *ss for a gazebo and hot tub.

This American life.

I Just Discovered:

Jolly Time Magic Mallow
Yummy Marshmallow Flavor
Microwave Pop Corn

say mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

and don't pretend you knew about it
all along.

Thanks Yahoo! I Didn't Find Out Until 10 Fricken 14 PM

Pasted:

Happiest day of the year is June 23, Cardiff scholar finds Fri Jun 23, 8:52 AM ET



LONDON (AFP) - Feeling more happy than usual this particular Friday? You should be, according to a scholar in seasonal disorders at a British university.

ADVERTISEMENT

Cliff Arnall has analysed such factors as outdoor activities, nature, social interaction, childhood memories, temperature and holidays -- data gathered over a period of 15 years in interviews with 3,000 people around the world.

His conclusion: June 23 is the happiest day of the year.

"People across borders experience happiness when they meet with friends and family and establish close social relationships," the University of Cardiff academic told AFP. "We need some close emotional ties."

He used what he considers a "simple equation" to reach his conclusion -- O + (N x S) + Cpm/T + He.

O stands for outdoor activities, N for nature, S for social interaction, Cpm for childhood summers and positive memories, T for temperature and He for holidays and looking forward to time off.

Arnall has already figured out the saddest day of the year. It was January 23 -- a Monday. "Surprise, surprise", he quipped.

Another Sip of Coffee Please

Will future historians
say that American vehicles
grew bigger
as we grew fatter?

FBI: Do Not Search My History

Two women who are taking my tiny class
this summer informed me that another teacher
has an article floating around concerning the history
of the vibrator--an article in which women
in the "1700s" received medical "stimulation"
from doctors in order to recieve a release in tention . . .

We talked a bit & I asked tons of questions--
fascinating topic--
but I couldn't get much info out of them--
the whole thing sounded rather suspcious to me . . .

So I wikipedia'd it. Aha!

What's it to You?

I simply couldn't help myself:

As I drove by my favorite little,
tucked away shop on the corner of Main Street,
my diet didn't matter anymore.

All I could bare was the thought
of the "Special Dozen" advertised on Skippy's sign
in all of its plastic, black-lettered glory.

When I pulled through the drive thru,
I ordered the dozen so quickly that
my saliva glands actually squirted, painfully,
at the back of my mouth.

Yes, ok. I ate two before I left the parking lot.
Crisp, clean, fresh
baby carrots are a secret indulgent
I refuse to live without.
They make my eyes roll into the back of my head.
And I never want to share. Never.
It takes all of my will power not to eat the whole box
in one sitting.

Nevermind Where I've Been

I started Summer Session I today.

ENG150, a commute to a branch, is remedial torture.
We have 2 workbooks to complete--workbooks! Like
ditto worksheets.
Two hours today spent underliniing nouns
and capitalizing proper nouns.
What did I do wrong??

But at least I'm getting paid.

Back in the home town? My glorious WS350?
Feminist Theory? My field?!?
Three women show up.
Two women are absolutely astounding
in the first night's analysis; the third,
intimidated I'd wager, leaves at break.
This class will not make.
Neither will it's counterpart.
And I'm out 4k. And all of that experience.

But I have workbooks.
And bubble-esque quizzes.
I need a drink. Nice and tall
or flat and fat.
Oh, and Aruba.

Nasty Habit

Yahoo! Story Writes:"Todd Bostwick, archaeologist for Phoenix and an expert on Hohokam culture and archaeoastronomy, said it is difficult to correlate a specific celestial event to a single piece of rock art . . . "


I See:
archaeologist--Phoenix--culture--correlate--celestial event--single piece of rock art.

Disperse the Moment

I wake up to song birds outside my window
and for a moment
I don't know where I am--
I often pretend I'm in a rainforest
because I have never learned the calls
and names of the native birds . . .

My coffee pot overflowed--
again--
and the sticky, sickly stain spread clear across
my counters
dripping
onto my floor, leaving grounds in the quick
of liminal spaces.

Yet, I do find a fondness, finally,
at last, in all the grime
for the first time,
because I know I'm leaving.

Why Not LOVE? Peace?

Why does our culture celebrate evil?

It makes me post the name of Jesus
for the day.

Ode to Avacado

Avacado has finally confessed
that she has known where SQ
has been all along--

but does she read it? Nope.
The chick has integrity.
She gets me.

I'm checking plane tickets to Alaska . . .

My First Summer Read

I just finished Sherri Reynolds' novel,
_Firefly Cloak_,
the first book I've read for fun in ages,
and I realize what my dream job would be:

A book doctor.

Not that her book isn't lovely; it's just that
I would love to have the skeleton of almost any book
established for me
so that I could have the pleasure of fleshing it out.

This novel's images/symbols are rich.
Yet, I'm left a bit unsatisfied . . .
not that I like my novels packaged neatly!
It just ended right when I was getting to know these people . . .